Spirit kin

[Catherine]

I really liked it. It seems like the kind of story that begs for lots of description, like to really show the differences between the different worlds. I didn't think the beginning was too cliched at all, but then, I tend to use cliches too much myself. All in all I thought it was great and really original. I like the twist at the end.

[kim]

Here’s a snippet, I’ve only just started writing it. I don’t know why but I’ve started from the middle, I’ll do the start when i'm in the mood ;D
This is after calab is put into a coma, and starts when he first wakes up in the paradise and meets Maru.
Also my mouse is doing strange things, so when I try to delete certain things using it occasionally moves that part. So if you see a part that makes no sense then please tell me.
Also any criticisms would be welcome, it’s been a long time since I last wrote, about a year in fact.
i keep improving it, so if your wondering why it always looks different, thats why


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Chapter 1

As his eyes opened slowly Darkness gave way to light, but the sight that greeted him was one that belonged before, not after, his eyes opened.
The ever reaching sky of smoke was replaced here by a sky so blue and clear it was as if it were painted on, the grass was similarly perfect, a vibrant green sea that swayed in the light afternoon breeze. And in the centre of all this beauty was a river that meandered through the land, the water glistening in the late sun, the most spectacular thing was not the river itself but what was in it, their were hundreds of tiny fish feeding, a sight that Caleb had not seen since the Collapse.
Beyond all this were huge rolling mountains, flowing into each other as if they were waves; birds flew over head, huge springbok bounded across the hills in the distance and snakes made their way across the meadow, parallel to the river.
But Caleb wasn’t looking at all this; his eyes were on the wolf sitting in front of the river, staring directly at him.

As the wolf approached him Caleb realised this was no ordinary wolf, its’ size was twice that of a normal wolf, the claws were tinged blue, and its eyes were also a deep blue, the same shade as that of the sky, it was covered in fur as bright as the sun, which seemed to radiate a pale white glow, the wolf came up to just above Caleb’s waist.
The wolf suddenly changed its stance, dropping low to the floor, its hair stood on end and its head lowered, a deep snarl left its foaming mouth, Caleb saw a row of razor sharp and pristine teeth. The wolf's snarl became a much deeper growl that reverberated through Caleb's very bones.
Caleb felt the urge to run but his feet would not obey him; he stood there frozen with fear. And it’s now his eyes took in his surroundings, looking desperately for a place to run, he saw a near-by wood, no more than twenty steps away. Caleb finally got his feet to start moving and he began backing away slowly.
He could here the growl growing louder with every step he took, and then suddenly the wolf launched at him, Caleb didn’t have time to register what had happened as the wolf cleared his head and landed behind him.
As Caleb turned around he saw what the wolf was really defending against, the sight sent a shiver down Caleb's spine, and he instantly felt more terrified of this beast then of the wolf.
The creature burst from the woods and turned towards Caleb and the wolf, he looked at the wolf and suddenly it too was in a defensive stance.
This new creature was as repulsive as it was intriguing; it hovered a few inches off the ground, enshrouded in a thick, constant shadow and was at least three times the height of Caleb, it was just a little smaller than the tree’s it had emerged from.
Its torso was extremely thin, every bone could be seen through its pitch black body, and even its heart was visible. The blood also visible pumping blood around its deformed body, flowing along each vein as it completed its circuit.
Its’ four long spindly arms stuck out at its sides about mid way down its torso, every hand had only three fingers, and the middle finger was twice the length of the others, it also looked like the sharpest. It was around the size of Caleb's arm; and it was this it attempted to plunge into the wolf’s side repeatedly as the wolf carried out its attack. The beast’s head was the most disturbing thing, it looked as though it had split into three parts, and between each part were hundreds of tiny veins leading to its two huge red eyes that seemed to hang suspended between each part, swinging in the breeze and every time it turned. Caleb had never seen anything as horrifying as this creature; this monster.
Caleb knew that what ever this creature was it didn't belong here, and he concentrated on the battle, hoping the wolf would be able to dispose of this invader.
The wolf was thrown across the ground as it bit into the monster, taking a chunk of flesh with it that instantly dissipated in the air. The monster struck out at the wolf again, all four arms collided with the wolf and he was flung back, leaving a trail of blood that glistened in the sun as the river had. The wolf lay there for a while stunned but he soon rose and lunged again. The wolf bounded across the ground and launched at the monster, evading a swipe from one of the giant black arms it instead used the arm as a launching point and dived towards the monsters eyes. The monster reeled back, screaming in pain, the sound made the very air vibrate. It then started clawing at the wolf with renewed strength, brought about by its anger and pain. But the wolf hung on, pulling its' head back using its' immense strength to tear the eye from the veins that held it. Eventually the eye came free and the wolf spat it out on the ground as if it were molten rock.
The monster, now partially blind, went for one last, desperate strike. It bore down towards the wolf with all four arms, both pairs performing an arc that crossed over each other. but the wolf was too quick, he dived off its shoulder at the last minuet, leading to all four of the monsters claws piercing its own shoulder's The wolf darted round to the back and raised his paw for a killing blow. He brought It down, claws outstretched, with all his might, putting all his weight into the blow. the claws tore through the monsters back as scissors to paper and a shower of crimson rained down on both the wolf and the monster; the wolf didn’t stop here though, he swiped repeatedly at the inside of the monster as if in a frenzy, cleaving flesh and muscle from bone, he used his mouth as well as his claws to tear at the wound, making it ever bigger until the back was nothing but a gaping hole, surrounded by gore. Amazingly throughout this frenzied attack the monster had stood there, rigid and silent, but eventually it began to sway, before falling to the ground with a sound that resounded throughout the whole valley, revealing the wound that had killed it to Caleb, who stood there horrified.
The wolf sat back on its haunches, blood dripping from its feet and fangs, and its once radiant fur had been stained crimson. The wolf’s breathing was strained and he seemed to have problems standing as he kept swaying, as if he were about to topple over, eventually he decided to lie down; surrounded by flakes of muscle and skin that had been torn from the corpse that now lay lifeless next to it.
The wolf lay there for a while, closing his eyes and regulating his breathing. Caleb finally got a good look at the wolf; the wolf was about nine feet long, each leg was the length as Caleb’s, and each claw was the same length as Caleb's whole hand. The wolf’s ears were small in comparison, measuring no more than a couple of inches, and were black, with a small white dot in the centre.
Caleb then noticed a small scar on its left ear, and as he looked harder he saw more and more scars on the wolf’s body. One ran up his top left leg, another down his top right, another ran down his entire back as if tracing his spine, and yet another ran diagonally through his left eye, littered throughout his body were hundreds of tiny scars.
The wolf’s face was like no other animal Caleb had seen, although the general shape and features were unquestionably that of a wolf it seemed capable of expressions that a wolf would not have, even now his face was that of pain and weariness and yet a great sense of accomplishment, as his eyes and mouth gave the sense that he was smiling; and as the wolf first laid eyes on the monster his face had looked concerned, this only just occurred to him. As Caleb thought about this the wolf’s eyes opened, Caleb jumped back and the wolf let out a strained laugh.

“You can speak?” Caleb blurted out.
“We do not have time to talk, there will be time later”
“Why isn’t there any time, who are you? Where am I? Why did y-”
“Silence!” the wolf said this with such force that Caleb was taken aback, he could feel the wolf’s power through this one word, so he did as he was told.
“I am sorry; I will explain everything when you are safe-“
“When I’m…” Caleb quickly remembered his place and fell silent again.
“You must leave now; in the forest you will find a clearing, just south of here. Once you arrive wait for me there, none must see you, if you are spotted all that I have strived for will be wasted, now go” the wolf’s soft but authoritative voice filled the land, or so it seemed to Caleb.
Suddenly the wolf’s head jerked towards the corpse of the monster
“What is it?” Caleb felt fear rising through him again
“Leave now!” the wolf roared “you do not have much time, run, I will hold it off”
As these words left the wolfs mouth a string of black smoke was seeping through the monsters wound, it began to intensify until there was a thick stream flowing from the monster, the smoke then began to take form; It rose in height and began to fill out.
Caleb took one last glance at the wolf, turned, and ran towards the woods, just as a pained howl filled the night sky, He didn’t know whether it was the wolf or the monster, the only thing that was clear to him was that this place, wherever it may be, was not simply a figment of his imagination, it was real.




Chapter 2

Twice he had fallen.
The thick shrub that covered the forest floor and the cobweb of vines coupled with the lack of light, due to the thick canvas above, had made progress slow and almost impossible. As Caleb stumbled on through the gloom he fell once more, cursing he righted himself and pushed on; he could see the clearing up ahead but it was far, and it was hard just getting a few feet, let alone fifty. Still he pushed on, determined to reach the clearing before night fell; not that it would make much difference, but without the little light that did come through he would not be able to see where he was heading, and he didn’t like the idea of being stuck out In this strange forest alone and blind.



After a few minuets a sound behind him pulled him from his thoughts, suddenly his heart began to race; he looked round for the source of the sound but saw nothing, the light was too dim to make out anything beyond a few meters. Panic rose in Caleb, he remembered the Wolfs words “none must see you” He lay down flat on his front hoping that the shrub would hide him; he saw a figure loom from the darkness.
It was at least 6 foot tall, but it hunched over with its arms hanging by its sides. Its face was mostly covered by the darkness of the forest but he could make out a long snout and two rows of teeth fixed in a snarl, its head was the same shape as the wolf but its ears were much larger, reaching about five inches. Its arms reached its knees and ended in a hand with claws twice the length of that of the wolf, these glistened in the light as it approached Caleb’s hiding place. It seemed to be covered in thick grey fur, but the fur didn’t mask its pale yellow skin, that shone sickly in the fading sun.
The sun crested the hill much faster than Caleb had expected and the forest was enshrouded in shadow, the form of the beast just visible in the moonlight. Caleb felt paralysed with fear again and lay there, even when the beast was only a few steps in front of him.
He took one last look at the beast as it walked into a beam of moonlight that shone through the tree’s; he couldn’t believe his eyes, no more than a few steps in front of him was a beast of legend, a creature that should never have existed, and yet here it was in the flesh, although his mind told him it could not be, his eyes showed otherwise, in front of him was a werewolf.
The moon hid behind a thick cloud and the forest lost even that faint light. Caleb was blind to everything around him, the werewolf was lost to the night; he could only hear the hard footsteps approaching.


Caleb knew he had little time left, he made up his mind and got to his feet, he was not going to lie down and wait to get mauled, he was going to act; he knew he had no chance at fighting the beast so he decided to flee. He mustered all his will power and fled towards the clearing, or where he believed the clearing was.
He stumbled over and over again, but every time he fell he got back up. He could hear the beast behind him getting closer and closer, a large hand swiped at his head sending him sprawling to the earth. He lay there, stunned, staring into darkness.
As if he could have escaped, running blind, being chased by a monster that should only exist in horror books and nightmares; he was no runner, he never had been. Now he was paying the price, Caleb cursed himself for ever performing such a stupid act.
He accepted his fate, he had tried running and he had failed. He had no chance at fighting the thing, he would just fail again, so he just lay there, scared and alone and silent.



The soft thud of the beasts’ feet stopped suddenly, followed by a louder sound. Caleb realised it was the sound of the beast falling, he must have tripped!
The fear was replaced by renewed hope; he raised and fled once again. The monster had taken him by surprise before, this time the beast had no such luck, and Caleb would be able to get a head start, surely now he could outrun it.
The clearing was only about 20 feet away; he heard the beast gaining on him once again, faster than before. He risked a look back and was greeted by a dim light once again, the moon it seemed had cleared the cloud, and a figure that was just visible bounding after him, the creature had dropped to all fours and was racing through the shrub towards him. He faced the clearing again and ran towards it, his legs were torn and bleeding from the thorns attached to the shrub and his face was dripping with sweat, but still he ran.
Ten feet now; just a few more paces more.
The footsteps were upon him, he was so close but he would never make it now. The realisation hit him like a brick wall, this distraction was all his mind needed to lose focus, he stumbled again and this time the beast hit him square in the back; the hit launched him into the air, he landed on his head, his feet passing over him.
Caleb lay there motionless; the last thing his eyes saw was the dark figure approaching him, as silent as the forest was dark.



Chapter 3

As Caleb lay unconscious images from his past filled his head. The darkness; The smoke; the gunfire; the murder; the hatred, the pain; the suffering; all savaging his brain until all that remained was a deep abyss, where no light could ever reach.
It was all too much, but there was nothing He could do to stem the flow of his thoughts.
Images flowed into his mind as a waterfall to a stream; a blonde haired woman, tall with bright blue eyes, pretty if it not for the fact that a huge gash ran the width of her face, from one side of her lips to the other, her mouth set in demonic smile, he recognised the face as that of his wife, her lower lip drooped and a black fountain began to drip slowly from the cut. Another woman came into view now, short and plump, with long messy brown hair that ran down to her shoulders, Her eyes were wide and her mouth was gagged, a dagger lay in her back, a man laughing above her and pointing at the child that stood before him, crying so hard it seemed he would never stop, staring down at his mother. Caleb had later killed the man; he had made the man suffer for all the pain he had caused him, back when he was just a little boy. The slide show continued, no matter what Caleb did, he could not stop the images from coming. A group of men now, His gang, his friends, his only friends, standing inside a warehouse, looking lost, Caleb turned round and saw another group of men approaching unseen behind his gang. Caleb tried to call out to his gang to turn around, to run, to fight, just to get out the f**king way!
His cries went unheard, silent to the ears of his men. Then it was too late, the other group raised their guns and fired. The bullets passing through the soft flesh with such ease it was as if they had been firing at butter, and eventually embedded themselves in the far wall. Caleb sunk to his knees, putting his face to his hands. He did not want to see any more, he never wanted to re-live the moments that kept repeating in-front of him, his prayers were answered, his vision blacked out and the images were once again pushed to the back of his mind, where he might never have to see them again.





Chapter 4

As he rose he saw a small stream of red pooling at his foot, as he followed the crimson line a sense of dread engulfed him.
There lay the wolf, breathing heavy and its fur filthy and matted with its own blood, or with another’s; he had obviously been in another fight, and since none were attacking, he must have won.

Caleb’s suspicions were proved right when he saw yet another pool of blood, larger than the last and darker. Curled up and whimpering quietly in the centre lay the werewolf, on seeing Caleb alive its eyes began to burn and it rose with new found determination, despite its horrific injuries it managed to lurch towards him; nothing but the urge to kill left. Caleb turned to the wolf, but its eyes were closed shut, he was alone again. He started to take short darting looks around for anything that could be used as a weapon, but always returning to the werewolf, who had increased its pace out of sheer determination; it seemed to live to kill him; even while its life was slowly dripping away through a deep gash across its back. Caleb’s eyes caught on something glinting in the moon light that lay beneath the wolf’s body; the sleek metal led to a handle invisible to him. Caleb started backing away from the werewolf, edging towards the blade; he would have to think of a way to acquire the blade quickly from underneath the wolf, without slicing the wolf itself open.
The werewolf seemed to catch onto what he was planning as its eyes found the blade and increased its pace once again, it managed a half run, and half stumble towards Caleb. He dived towards the blade just as the werewolf came into range of him, he slid the blade from underneath the wolf and brought it up in a defensive arc.
The blade caught the beast’s head just under the chin; as the blade hit bone Caleb lost his hold on the blade and it fell to the side of him, just as the beast fell upon him, jaws snapping and gaping wide; an abyss where no life could return. Caleb moved his head to the left as the beast’s jaws snapped, once again closing on thin air. He beat at the werewolf with all his might, each blow delivered to its head only added to further anger the beast, increasing its strength. Out of luck as much as anything one of the blows must have hit a weak spot as the beast reeled back momentarily, allowing Caleb enough time to grab blindly for the blade. His hands clasped around the handle, still warm from the wolfs body, and with both hands he brought the blade up to above his head and forced the blade sidelong into the beasts neck. The blade slid cleanly through the beasts flesh, not once did it strike any bone, the end protruding through the werewolf’s neck. It let out a long gurgled howl before succumbing to its fate and collapsing to the ground, it twitched once and became still.
Caleb fell to his knee’s exhausted, a low wind suddenly blew, cold and piercing. The blood that now spattered his clothing started to freeze and fall off, cracking as they collided with the ground. Caleb had an uneasy feeling in his stomach, the beast that lay on the ground suddenly felt a lot less intimidating; it looked completely helpless curled up and a look of horror plastered on its dead face.
Caleb returned to the wolf’s side, and looked it over for wounds, other than the scars there was nothing that looked serious. He prepared a couple of leaves as a kind of bed and placed the wolf on top.

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[kim]

i thought i'd update this again, i forgot i'd posted it on here in the first place.
now its even longer and it has chapters, im not sure why i put chapters in, its just something to do really.

[kim]

heres the next couple of chapters, i thought i'd already posted this on here, but i guess not. i'd really appreciate it if you could tell me how this bit is, i think its good, but it may not make much sense as i wrote it late one night.
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Chapter 6

Caleb was becoming used to sudden noises in the clearing, birds singing over head, the rustling of boar on the ground and the sharp rattle of a snake in the undergrowth, yet he was still on edge; every sound had to be investigated.
Caleb thought it best to stay up through the night and keep watch over the wolf, until the first rays of dawn struck the forest.
A rustling to his left demanded investigation, and he was quickly aware that this time it was different than those that frequented him during the night; he had tried to kill one such boar that had come a little too close, he had not eaten in a day and he was feeling the affects.

A jade fox broke free from the forest shrub and darted across the clearing, red in the dawning sky, heading straight for Caleb.
Caleb picked up his sword and readied himself, thinking that, though not much, it would at least make enough of a meal to keep him going.
But this notion was quickly dispersed as the fox began to change form, its four legs growing in size, and once grown; it pushed itself onto its two hind legs and continued towards Caleb at a walk. Stopping a few feet ahead, it pointed to the wolf and simply said
“I am here at his wish, leave him and follow me to the spring”

Caleb was too weak to even walk and had to be half supported, half carried by the fox to the nearby spring where he was then lowered into the water, he began instantly to drink happily as the fox kept watch.
“My name is Zixiao Kitsune, and He is Maru” The fox said, motioning towards the wolf in the clearing with a casual wave of his paw.
“What are..?” Caleb was still recovering from not only his shock, but his Starvation; so his mind seemed to be working at half capacity; a few words were the most he could manage.
“What am I?” the fox suggested, Caleb managed a weak nod.
“I am one of the five Spirit Kin we guard this place and everything that inhabits it. We each guard our own part of this place; my realm is the forest, which is why Maru asked you to come to the clearing.
Maru over there is another; I have not seen another for many years now. We keep separate, though occasionally we catch a glance of each other, we never normally talk directly.
We lived to serve the Paradise, our only purpose was to keep this world pure, and in this respect……we failed” a small shudder ran down the fox’s body, Kitsune had to turn away at this point as water threatened to erupt from his eyes, Silence struck him for what seemed an eternity; Caleb said nothing, but took in all that he had said, and fought back the wave of emotion that spread through him at seeing such a site. After a while the fox turned to him, having beaten back the tears, and continued.
“They came to our world first, and laid waste to all that they found. They massacred our animals, torched our land, and Devastation flowed across the land like a flood. Eventually we fought them off, but the damage had been done, corruption had been brought to our world. Some of our beasts relished the taste of it, bathing in its dark embrace, succumbing to its own greed” Kitsune spat the last sentence with such bitterness and anger than Caleb was taken aback.
“Sorry” Kitsune said as he saw the look on Caleb’s face “you have met one such tainted animal, that thing that attacked you used to be Maru’s son, until he decided he preferred power over sanity, and so he was lost. We have all lost family, friends all those that we have ever loved, most if not all of them have either turned or been lost, not much lives. And Our Land will never be the same, and so-“
Caleb looked confused and promptly added “they? Who are they?”
“The ravaged” Kitsune sighed “corruption manifested. They live only to cause harm, they live purely to corrupt others. They were what you saw when first you met Maru”
The monster and its piercing cry once again filled Caleb’s mind, and a shiver ran down his spine. The fox noticed this and a look of compassion crossed his face.
“Do not worry, they do not like this place, and those that fall under their influence quickly lose power that is why you were able to defeat that thing over there” Kitsune pointed once again to the clearing, where the corpse still lay.
“I am sorry you had to go through that, I would have come sooner but I was…Preoccupied here” Kitsune faded out near the end.
Anger rose up in Caleb, this fox had been in the forest, and was only a few minuets away; surely he would have heard the fight and come over.
“YOU WERE PREOCCUPIED!” Caleb’s anger got the better as him “While I was getting torn to shreds you were just here having a nice casual bath!”
The fox looked shocked at this and was visibly struck with fear for a few moments before regaining himself, and turned away from Caleb for moment, anger swelling inside.
“I told you I was preoccupied. I couldn’t help you at the time”. Kitsune replied with a distinct coldness to his tone. He had avoided Caleb’s eyes up until this point, now He locked Caleb’s eyes in an icy embrace.
“I’ll see to Maru, now would be a good time to bath” and with that The Fox turned round, and stormed off, muttering to himself under his breath, he turned round and added with vehement hostility
“You can catch your own food”
Caleb let this go and transferred his anger into rubbing off the dried blood and mud that now coated him, and his clothes, from top to bottom.


Chapter 7


Caleb had finally done it, after several failed attempts he had finally caught a bird big enough to provide a good meal. Of course he then had to prepare and cook it, so he begun yet another hunt for a few good flint stones.
Unfortunately the forest seemed to lack any stones of any kind, except the large boulders that lay nestled around the forest, the biggest of which Maru had rested upon. Instead Caleb looked around for some dry leaves and a few sturdy sticks. Pretty soon he had found what he needed and set to starting the fire.
Caleb was beginning to regret how he’d treated the fox, Kitsune had given him support when he was too weak to stand and had literally carried him to the spring and even gone so far as to lower him in slowly and place him in a spot where he could drink without drowning. Even then He had gone on to explain everything that was plaguing Caleb’s mind, no matter how hard it was for him, and Caleb had thrown it in his face. Caleb remembered the way Kitsune had looked physically struck when he had exploded, the look of guilt running across the fox’s face, now he really was feeling miserably guilty himself. Caleb decided to go and apologise to Kitsune after he had had his meal, all his energy had been used to catch the bird and to prepare it, and he was pushing himself just to start the fire.
A few embers burned amongst the leaves and soon there was a blaze of orange and red, Caleb pierced the now featherless bird with his sword and shoved into the fire. He left it in the fire too long and he ended up burning the meat an unappetising black, regardless he devoured the bird within moments and felt more energised instantly.
After satisfying his belly he headed over to Kitsune and Maru to apologise to the fox. He approached to see Maru up and apparently fine, involved in a deep discussion with Kitsune, which died as soon Caleb came into view, followed by a cold glance from Kitsune.
“Kitsune I need to speak with you” Caleb said this quietly but it still came out a little forcefully.
“About what?” the bitterness was still evidently present in his voice, and his eyes were unchanged.
By now Maru had caught onto the atmosphere and knew that something was amiss.
“I think you should go talk with the boy, he looks like he’s come to apologise” Maru’s voice seemed almost teasing, but Caleb felt no need to fight the truth.
“So what, I’d rather stay here with you” turning to Caleb he added with a snarl “and I’d rather not see you”.
Maru shook his head and let out a barely audible sigh as Caleb turned on his heels and started to walk off, anger once again rising in him, and thoughts rushing through his head.
What right has this animal got to treat me like that?
“I was actually going to forgive the arrogant bastard, well he’s blown his chance now, f**king idiot. Immature little…immature…”
Caleb was hit with the sudden realisation as to why the fox was being so immature, it’s because he was immature. Caleb had taken it for granted that Kitsune would be as old as Maru, but thinking back he remembered the general build of the fox didn’t look like that of a full grown adult, though close, and the way in which he spoke seemed to be more similar to him than Maru. Although this explained a lot, Caleb was still angry at having been put down like that, and he lay down to sleep on the cold wet ground as unhappy as he had ever been, but eventually he fell into a deep sleep.
As soon as his eyes closed the monster returned, a pitch black silhouette against the pure white sky, its empty swaying eyes fixing on Caleb. It reached towards him, fingers ready to grasp him, soon all that he could see was a deep, dark abyss and he suddenly had the sensation of falling into this hole, his silent screams only added to his terror. He was saved from this nightmare by a hard kick that would defiantly leave a mark in the morning, looking up in pained relief he saw a soft jade muzzle pointing towards him,
“Fine, you win. Get up and we can have that talk”